I'm Not Letting Go
by Damara
Summary: [MaxLiz] Rewrite of EOTW. What if Future Max’s intentions were never to separate his younger self from Liz? What if the man who forces her to make Max fall out of love with her…isn’t Max at all?
1. Prologue

**Title: I'm Not Letting Go **

**Author: Damara**

**Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership of the characters contained herein, they belong to Jason Katims, the WB (shame on you!) and the UPN (shame on you too!).**

**_Spoilers:_ **Alternate take/re-write of "End of the World". Were any of you scratching your head at the end of that one? It always made me so mad that they never resolved that storyline after we learned that Tess and Nasedo were always going to betray them!

**_Summary: _**What if Future Max's intentions were never to separate his younger self from Liz? What if the man who forced her to make Max fall out of love with her…wasn't Max at all?

_**Author's Note: **Hello everybody (me waves to all the Roswell fans!) This little fic has been a labor of love of sorts for quite some time now, and so I thought I'd finally post it here and hopefully get your feedback :o) Though I've been a hard-core fan of the show since its premiere, I've never posted any of my Roswell works here at the site. Some of you may have seen some of my stories in other places, on other sites or boards (long since retired)…it's my hope to get them up here and maybe even re-vamp and/or dust off some of the others and God willing even complete a few :oP_

_Oh, and a Special Thanks to my buddy Erin...you know who you are :oP... without whom this story could not have been written. Good to see that all 'them writing sessions paid off huh?!

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Prologue

The Fall -- Roswell New Mexico, 2014

* * *

One after another, with each frantic sprint the unstable Earth shifts beneath him, the slipping of the rocks under his hurried feet only adding to his frustration. He knew the granolith chamber wasn't much further, but each step that brought him closer also returned the soul-splitting reminder of how he'd come to be here…how the shattering turn of events he'd suffered had ruined him inside.

And even worse yet, the memory of how he'd held her in his arms for the very last time as the shining light that shone in her eyes slowly dimmed. He'd fought countless battles and witnessed terrible tragedies, but watching her slip away from him had broken him into unfixable pieces.

He'd only survived all these years as the leader of an alien race because he had her to replenish his spirit.

_Now what was he to do? _

He'd always told himself that to have his wife beside him meant overcoming all obstacles. He'd always known that if anything happened to her he'd never be the same. Fourteen years of marriage had strengthened the people they were. And yet, from the very first moment he'd seen her all those years ago; she'd meant everything to him. He could never live to regret sacrificing his safety to save her that day at the Crashdown.

_She was his whole purpose. _

And all these years later, while battle had proved to harden his mind, his heart and soul had always been eternally safe within her care.

_But what would become of them now? _

Now that his center was missing.

The space within his being that had only moments ago been protected, was void of all emotions except one…helplessness.

The rushing of the hot desert breeze against his face cooled his heated flesh. The pressure of the wind, especially at these higher altitudes, fights against him as he frantically grasps at rocks and brush…anything to keep his balance and keep him surging forward.

He _had_ to keep moving forward.

Finally, the familiar rock formation began to appear in the distance. Even in the blackness of night he could make out the unique shape of the large rock, signaling his proximity to the chamber…his only salvation.

He _had_ to get there…

Even through the crippling muscle aches and fatigue he had to somehow focus on reaching the chamber before anyone discovered him or the granolith. He winced at the pain as his joints throbbed and his body struggled to keep up with his stubborn determination.

_He'd tried so hard… _

He'd tried every way he knew to turn the anger he felt into strength, strength to trudge this mountain. But his whole body ached with the effort of it all; and his mind ached with the knowledge that he'd failed them all…he'd failed her.

And now he must do anything and everything in his power to make things right again, regardless of the consequence to himself.

Because he'd never been more certain of anything in his life as he was of this simple fact…he was nothing without his Liz…

…_his heart and soul were gone.

* * *

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_**Please send me your thoughts...should I scrap it? or keep it going?**_


	2. Chapter One

_**Author's Note:** Hello there everybody! Okay, here is chapter one to this on-going fic. Thanks to those of you who read and reviewed that you're interested in the direction of this story. I've got BIG plans for it. Just a warning, that this chapter is intentionally a tad cryptic. But starting in chapter 2 it should all start to fall into place :o) So that said...please let me know your thoughts.

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The thought of it now was amazing; how was it possible that only two short days earlier they'd been together and happy? In no time at all, everything had been turned upside-down…the world in its entirety it seemed had collapsed onto his shoulders and claimed the lives of everyone he loved.

His sister Isabel, his brother and best-friend Michael…they were gone now.

And as if those losses hadn't destroyed him enough, as if bearing them hadn't already decimated his faith…they'd taken his queen too…his love…his wife…his Liz.

The ground shook violently beneath him as he came upon the opening of the chamber.

The explosions were getting closer.

_He had to hurry._

Regaining his footing, he quickly made his way to the cave's lighted entrance. From here he could see that the granolith hummed with its harnessed potential energy. It glowed absolutely with iridescent hues of mixed green and blue that glittered across the tall rock walls surrounding it.

Heavy breathing coupled with desperate fumbling had inhibited his approach until now, but with the increasing intensity of the aftershock explosions beneath the rocks surface, he was now practically forced to crawl to the glowing transporter. Reaching into his shirt pocket he grasps the slender crystal activator and lunges forward finally forcing the key into its target.

Max is violently taken aback when a small burst of light emanates through the granolith and waves of energy are converted into rays of green, yellow and blue shining light all around him. Finally the thought penetrates him…_his struggle to get here will be rewarded with a successful departure_; he sighs with great relief.

_There was hope after all. _

_He would be given the chance to change the course of events that led them all here…a chance to set things right. _

Stretching his left hand out in front of him, he readies himself to touch the illuminated alien surface. His eyes however were instantly drawn to the visible band of skin that marked where his wedding ring had once resided. With one hand suspended in front him, he reaches the other up around his neck to take hold of the ring bound there by a silver chain.

_Liz…_

His mind crying out for her triggers an onslaught of flashes from their past, as he's strangely comforted by the realization that even death cannot quell the power of their connection. Through this most cherished symbol of their eternal love, they'd always be together.

_Even in death, their love was far stronger than their enemies had ever anticipated…_

Their greatest moments of shared intimacy replay as treasured memories in his mind; one by one the images and sensations surge through him unleashing a maelstrom of powerful emotions.

**_He experiences the longing of their first kiss once again, as if for the first time. He relives the memory of their first declaration of love in a deserted van after she'd sacrificed her own freedom to rescue him from the terrors of the FBI. He remembers the beauty of their wedding day as they'd exchanged rings…and repeats the memory of the unbridled passion they'd shared on their first night as husband and wife. He revisits the pain they were both too familiar with; times when the King's presence had been required and they'd been apart…but of course their torture apart had only proved to make for even sweeter reunions._**

And while he recalled those memories with warmth, his comfort was short lived. In an instant, he once again witnessed the unbearable scene that unfolded as they exchanged rings for the very _last_ time.

A sob was wrenched from deep in his throat at the remembrance of it; the heartache it stirred only reaffirmed his determination to prevent this future from being repeated.

**_He'd pulled the ring from his finger and reached for her palm, setting it in her hand and folding her grip around it he spoke to her gently, "For the first time in fourteen years, I'll be without my wedding ring Liz. But I want you to hold onto it for me. No matter what happens, always remember…I loved you with my last breath…and for as long as I am a part of this universe…I'll love you still." His hand lifted to caress her cheek and her lower lip trembled with unshed tears. "Max…" a thought suddenly occurred to her. She reached around her own neck then to unclasp the silver chain hanging there. Removing the charm, she replaced it with the wedding ring from her own finger. He immediately knew her intention and he'd had to desperately fight to reign in his emotions at the thought; if not for his own sake, for hers. Instead he lowered his head in anticipation of her gift. Encircling his bowed neck, she fastened the clasp and fingered the chain. Finally reaching for the ring, he encircled her fingers holding the ring within his own. Watching as her eyes glistened with tears, he could no longer fight the tears that were pulled from his own brown orbs. "Someday Max, you'll return home to me; and you'll put this ring back on my finger. Until that day comes, remember that I'll forever belong to you…and I'll always be with you." _**

_**This followed by the last words she would ever speak to him, "I love you."**_

A cry of despair and anger was ripped from his throat when finally the last image faded. He fell to his knees then in a heavy heap as the colored glow emanating from the granolith came back into focus. Only this time, as he opened his eyes he realized that he was no longer on the rocky floor of the cave…but now he was _inside_ the crystal.

Wiping at his eyes and drying his tears, Max stands and looks heavenward to find a swirl of radiant energy pulsating above him. It was then that he felt that he was being drawn and lifted up toward the apex of swirling energy above him. His own energy as it was mixed with the power being created by the crystal produced a separation of mind and body that worked collectively to transport him to his destination: Roswell, New Mexico…in the year 2000.

* * *

From the darkened shadows a mysterious invader watched closely. Tucked away behind a nearby rock he waited, ever careful not to be discovered. This plan of his would need to be executed perfectly and without hesitation if it was going to work.

_There would be no time for second thoughts, or second chances._

From a safe enough distance he'd followed the hybrid King up the mountainous terrain; through the rock cavern he'd watched as the King stumbled and grasped in desperation. Truly, it was a rare sight to witness such desolation in the fearless leader of the Antarian race. And strangely, as he'd watched the young leader fumble, he'd stood questioning his own eagerness to succeed in this deception. Fortunately it wasn't long before he'd concluded that the only way to find and activate the granolith would be through Max.

_But could he continue in this hateful plot? _

From his position behind the cavernous wall, he'd watched as the scene of despair played before him. Over the years he'd come to watch as the King and his bride succeed as many times as they'd failed. He'd watched them share their moments of failure with as much tenderness as they did their moments of triumph. And through those encounters he'd formed a dangerous bond to the couple; one that he knew now clouded his judgment.

_But he had to be resolute. He couldn't allow such weakness to conquer. _

His previous alliances and actions no longer afforded him the opportunity to waiver in his judgment.

So now he sat, and he watched as the king concentrated heavily on the small object in his right hand. He'd seen him crumble to his knees in agony; but it was when he witnessed the crystal capturing him with its enormous energy that he realized now was the only chance he'd have of escaping this existence.

Once sight of the King was gone, he quickly walked through the empty chamber. Pausing at the base of the crystal he checked to see that the activator was still inserted there. Taking one last gulp of air he pressed his own hand to its glowing surface; and soon he too was entombed within its walls. Preparing himself for the explosion of energy he knew was coming, he looked above him as he'd watched the King do before he'd disappeared.

And within the space of a second, another intense burst of energy nearly blinded him as he too was transported through untapped dimensions of time and space.

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	3. Chapter Two

* * *

Hondo, New Mexico (2000)

* * *

_This truly was a terrible idea. _

Liz Parker mentally chastised herself as she sat across the table from a fortuneteller.

_What was she thinking? And how had she let Maria talk her into this?_

Madame Vivian…or so the sign out front had said, could foresee anyone's future and make even the most skeptical customer believe in the power of clairvoyance. Interestingly enough, Liz didn't even know how she'd ended up in this chair. She didn't need psychic guidance to sort out her love life…there was nothing to sort out. She and Max Evans simply could not be. And as much as she hated to admit that to herself, Liz found that those words were becoming a necessary mantra in her mind; much like the constant self-reminder that if she repeated those words long and often enough, she was certain that she'd eventually come to accept their meaning.

It hadn't been too long after she and Max managed to finally break through their self-imposed barriers before they'd realized the blinding intensity of their feelings for one another. And while Liz had always sensed that there was something unique about Max Evans, she'd never truly appreciated just how special he was until he'd risked exposure of his and Isabel's and Michael's secret to save her life. Though amazingly, it felt like that whole ordeal was years behind them, logically she knew it was only little more than a year ago.

Not that the timeline mattered much, because Liz knew that it was what had transpired in the time since then that had brought her here today.

She and Max were soul mates…they were meant to be together always.

Or at least that's what she'd thought; right up until the appearance of Tess Harding, a fourth alien, whom it seemed, had not only challenged their future together, but rocked it to the very center of its relevance. And though they'd tried to pretend that her sudden arrival and subsequent revelations made no difference in the way they saw each other. Neither one of them could escape the blinding truth of it all…Max Evans had a purpose far greater than either one of them had ever dared imagine. And suddenly, all of the things about Max that had made Liz fall so hopelessly in love with him were now going to be their greatest defeat. His uncompromising passion to protect the people he loved, his continual sense of duty and self-sacrifice, but most importantly, his unwavering belief in doing what was right…these were the very things that would ultimately and necessarily keep them apart.

And now, in the aftermath of recent attacks by the FBI, an alien race known as the husks, and an enlightening message from Max's birth mother, Liz had been trying so hard to maintain a safe distance from him. The problem was that as hard as she tried to leave him to his destiny, he tried even harder to remind her that he still loved her. And not only were his tireless efforts to save their love making things that much harder for her now, but Liz had found her resolve to stay away waning, especially in these last couple of weeks.

A fact which brought her to her latest dilemma…that she was currently seated across from a fortuneteller at the behest of her two best friends Alex Whitman and Maria Deluca.

All things considered, Liz didn't put much stock in psychic readings or premonitions…at least not the human variety. But on the off chance that this woman was capable of some kind of psychic ability, she wasn't so sure this was a good idea, if for no other reason then she didn't want to risk exposing anything about Max and the others to a complete stranger.

"I've never seen the cards fall like this before…a boy, he's different," the mysterious woman starts. Liz wasn't exactly sure what the right way to respond to this was, but she was definitely growing more intrigued.

"Yeah," Liz nodded wide-eyed and curious.

"He's very important this boy…a leader."

"Yeah, he has this whole other destiny…one that doesn't include me," Liz explained sadly.

"No," the fortuneteller was quick to interrupt, "He chooses love."

"What?"

"He chooses you," she reiterated with an unbelievable degree of certainty.

"No…no, that's impossible."

"The reading is clear," Madame Vivian protested. "You marry your true love, you have happiness. The card here…intimacy, sex…you will not be left wanting."

This couldn't be possible Liz tried to rationalize, and apparently her shock was mirrored in her expression because soon Madame Vivian was posing more questions.

"You seem shocked by this, yet you've also told me that you love one another passionately. Why do you doubt what I've told you will be?"

"I, uh…" Liz stumbled through her astonishment, "because Max and I can't ever be together." The words, her unspoken mantra, spilled from her mouth before she knew how else she was going to respond.

"Well my dear, regardless of whatever differences you two need to work through, my reading is certain. And Madame Vivian has never been wrong."

* * *

An intensely bright flash of white light illuminated the alien chamber; hidden within the cavern walls of the enormous rock formation the light instantaneously dimmed to reveal a transported figure from within it.

Max stood atop the rocky surface of the cave and was slightly disoriented until he suddenly realized that its silence was devoid of the thunderous blasts that filled the air just moments ago. The ground which once convulsed violently with eruptions caused by weaponry was now completely still.

He'd made it! He'd successfully arrived.

It was amazing!

And yet it also meant…

Looking down at the small chain that hung from his neck, he lightly caressed the ring captured there and gently rolled it in his fingers. Suddenly he was once again caught in the continuation of the same flash he'd relived earlier.

"**Wait," he'd beckoned quietly. Quickly he'd surveyed the floor for any object that would serve his purpose. Finding a forgotten piece of rope lying in a corner of the room he moves to quickly retrieve it and returns to his wife. Standing before her he centers his concentration on the rope. Smoothing his glowing hand over its uneven surface he uses his powers to transform it into a chain not unlike the one she'd just given him. Threading the ring through it he hangs it where her other chain had rested. "Now both of us will hold the other close to their heart." **

The bursting of red and pink beams rudely interrupted his memory as once again Max was left alone in the cavern, and bathed dimly in the glowing light from the granolith. As silent tears flowed down his cheeks Max gripped his only treasured memento. Using the back of his hand and wrist he wiped away at the tears on his face before glancing back down at Liz's ring.

"Soon my love," were the last words he whispered.

…Soon they would be together again.

Mustering his resolve, Max took a cleansing breath before heading away from the massive rock formation and toward the little town he'd called home for the last twenty-four years…Roswell.

* * *

"Wait a minute here. You mean Madame Vivian predicted that you and Max would…would…you know…?"

Maria and Liz had no sooner dropped Alex off before Liz started relaying the details about her psychic experience. She hadn't anticipated the blush rising in her cheeks at the telling of the woman's explanation of her cards. And even though Liz could feel her embarrassment mounting, she had to admit that the things she was feeling after her reading were overwhelming. And to add to what was already a complicated situation…if she was being honest with herself, Liz also had to admit that ever since she'd come home from her summer vacation in Florida, she was starting to feel her resolve crumbling when it came to Max. It was getting harder and harder to stay away from him. And now…she'd just been told that she and Max would one day be together, despite his destiny.

The whole situation was making her dizzy.

"Liz, babe! Quit zoning out on me and concentrate. I want to know what else she told you!" Maria was relentless Liz considered with a smile.

"Maria, I already told you there _was_ nothing else." Shooting her friend a look, Liz realized that Maria was still clinging to the hope that she and Max would find their way back to each other. Maria was the ever hopeful romantic. She seemed so desperate for her friends to find happiness that Liz decided she'd divulge one last little tidbit.

"Except, well…there was one other thing," she added cryptically.

"Oh I knew it!" Maria squealed, "Come on, tell me, tell me, tell me." Smiling at Maria's excitement Liz continued.

"Well, she said that she'd never seen her cards predict a future as clear as mine. She told me that Max was 'different' and that he was a born leader. And when I told her that his destiny didn't, you know, include me…she told me that I was wrong; that Max chooses love over his destiny. And that's when she foretold…you know…the rest. The important thing Maria is that she seemed certain beyond any doubt whatsoever that Max was going to abandon his destiny for me."

"Yeah, and this is a problem because…?"

"Maria, the whole reason I stepped back to begin with was so that Max wouldn't have to make that choice. I mean my goodness, he's meant to be a _king_ Maria. He's the leader of an entire alien race that's depending on him to lead them to freedom and prosperity. They need him. And I don't want to stand in the way of what's already an enormous responsibility for him."

"Liz, sweetie…Max understands that you want what's best for him and his people. We all know that you love him enough to sacrifice your own happiness for that cause. But, what the rest of us all see that you don't is that Max needs you. He needs you Liz. You're the ying to his yang. You totally balance each other out. But, you're both too selfless for your own good. You're staying away from him to make his life less complicated and he's respecting those wishes of yours out of a need to protect you from a life he's afraid will put you in constant danger. But however much you both try to resist it, you and Max can't escape the fact that you need one another." Her eyes downcast, Liz tried her hardest to avoid Maria's stare. She was close enough as it was to bursting into tears, one look at Maria and it would all be over. She could only hope that the Crashdown wasn't too much farther away. What she needed right now was a hot bath and some time to herself to sort this whole thing out in her head.

"Come on Lizzie," Maria coaxed her, "go ahead…look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love Max." She's met with total silence. "See…you're so transparent that even Madame Vivian saw right through you."

"Maria, could we please just talk about something else?" Liz practically begged.

"Sure Liz…as soon as you admit that you know I'm right. You and Max are a cosmic inevitably; you can't control the way you feel about him. And you know as well as I do that it's useless trying to fight your feelings…because sooner or later…you're so going to cave."

* * *

To Max's surprise, the town he'd grown up in was just as he'd remembered it from his childhood. The streets were just as quiet as they were when he was in high school; walking down Main Street now, it was just as dark and quiet as he remembered all those nights ago when he'd walk aimlessly pondering the meaning of his life. Those were lonely nights; nights before Liz Parker.

It was nice here though he had to admit; the Roswell he'd spent the last fourteen years protecting was a much harsher place. Lights illuminated every hidden crevice, there were no quiet spots anymore where one could just sit and think. The future was a place where science had catapulted humanity into a prematurely new millennium; the end result was a world ruled by impressive technology but lacking in the simpler more enjoyable aspects of humanity. The truth was he missed this world. He may have never been a normal teenager, but at least here he had been able to enjoy the freedoms afforded to him by the façade.

Max was easily able to retrace the steps to the Crashdown from memory. Though the restaurant itself had long been destroyed in the world he'd come from, he'd always remembered the building from his youth. That place was as much a home to him, Michael and Isabel in their teens as anywhere else. As he rounded the corner he caught sight of Maria's beaten up red Jetta coming down the street. A smile tugged at his lips as he remembered the good times they'd all had together; that Jetta had some pretty interesting memories attached to it too. But soon the sound of the approaching engine threw him into action; hurrying around to the back end of the building Max looked up at the balcony of Liz's bedroom. Jumping into action he quickly climbed the fire escape and made his way into his wife's childhood bedroom. Glancing around he couldn't help but smile at the familiarity of it all.

_Well_, he thought to himself, _now all he could do was sit and wait_.

* * *

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…goodnight Maria…" Liz laughed as she opened her door and climbed out of the car. Standing up she closed the door and poked her head down through the passenger window. Maria was leaning across the passenger seat when she made one last effort to be heard, "All I'm saying is just think about it!"

"Okay, okay…I told you I would. But right now all I want to think about is soaking in a hot bath and crawling into my warm bed. I'll see you tomorrow Maria."

"Sure chica. I'll call you in the morning." Goodbyes were exchanged and Liz pulled out her keys to unlock the door. Walking inside the restaurant she made sure that everything was locked up before heading upstairs to the apartment. She opened her bedroom door and flipped on the small lamp sitting atop her dresser. Making her way into her bedroom she was oblivious to the figure standing beside the window. Turning toward her dresser mirror, her head lowered as she removed her jewelry, she sensed the familiar scent of him in the air followed by the striking warmth that she always felt when he was focusing his attention on her. Lifting her head up, she drew her eyes to the mirror in front of her and saw his tattered reflection.

_Oh God…_

"Max…?" Liz heard herself whisper in disbelief.

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**Hi everyone! So this was the next chapter in the story. My apologies that it didn't come sooner :o( But in any case, for those of you who might have been interested in the development of this storyline...A HUGE Thank You for reading :o) Look for chapter 3 soon. Oh! And comments/feedback are as always greatly appreciated :o) **


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